Nature and Our Genitals
One of the criticism that have been used to describe human behavior in a negative light, is that it's animalistic, wild, uncivilized, primitive, unrefined and so on. Its whats been used in the past as a justification in enslaving people, taking away their land, killing them and indoctrinating them. I could go on and on about the destructive force of some people on other peoples in the name of civilization, but I wont as its not something that I mean to focus specifically on here. However I want to emphasize that the impact has been huge, far vaster than we can grasp unless we are students of anthropology.
The point is that there has been an ongoing, violent, systemic effort to distance humanity from its animal nature, and behaviour. This was/is rarely consensual if ever. Perhaps people chose to accept new imposed ideologies and ways of living when under duress, shamed, or backed into a corner; but this isnt just history. Corporations and governments, continue to treat indigenous people, people who live closer to the earth, who see themselves as part of nature, as somehow inferior, not sophisticated enough to have the same rights and autonomy as the “civilized” world.
Who didnt hear some kind of message from their parents as a child that referred to ones behaviour as “eating like an animal”, or that “you weren't raised in a barn”. I believe this to be one of the biggest derogatory ways that humans have referred to each other in the last few centuries in the western world, the culture that is currently dominant, pretty much ubiquitous in our world. One piece of irony here is that for all this nature distancing that is emphasized, “unnatural” is used to describe the wrongness of homosexuality, while the same authority on what is natural, guzzles a coke, drives a car and talks on a cel phone.
The disconnect we have with our genitals, is the same disconnect that we have with nature. The cultures that are disconnected from their genitals, who hide them and shame the displaying of them, are also the ones that are disconnected from nature, who exploit nature in a destructive, non sustainable way. I believe that these two things go hand in hand. This concept is even at the core of western civilization with Adam and Eve and the garden. Adam and Eve did not even know they were naked, just like a cat or a dog or any other creature. Humans are the only earth creatures that cover parts of ourselves because we think they are offensive. It was only when Adam and Eve left the garden that they began to hide their genitals and feel shame.
The world has been so indoctrinated with this idea that our genitals are offensive, that it is illegal to display your natural organism's “uncivilized” body. Even completely minding your own business, your own body is deemed offensive, disturbing, obscene, not safe for work, bad for children to see, eye rape. We have received these messages collectively from religion mostly, and then we perpetuate them, we shame others, we teach our children that genitals are dirty and “private”. How are our genitals any more private than the rest of our bodies; its only because we hide them. We hide them because of shame. We hide them because we've internalized beliefs that everything to do with our genitals is unsavory, uncivilized, dangerous, dirty, impolite.
Because of our treatment of our genitals as our psychic garbage dump, we deprive them of our conscious awareness. We don't go there, and so we don't evolve that part of ourselves. Just because something is natural, or wild, doesn't mean it doesn't evolve. Nature is what is evolving. Nature is what teaches us how to evolve. Natures way of evolution is brilliant and beautiful. But we don't let our sexuality evolve in a healthy natural way. So it evolves in the way a cave fungus might; slowly, producing a lot of slime and perhaps poison. It squishes out sideways, and we accidentally fall waist deep into it like quicksand. Were unprepared often and uncomfortable with our own disassociated nature. Is it any wonder that our relationships that we allow our sexuality, where we reveal our genitals, are also often where we can be the most hurtful to each other. We are exposing these parts of ourselves that somewhere we believe are unlovable are dirty, are uncivilized, in hopes that the other person will love that part of ourselves; or at least accept them. Our genitals and their function are a part of us whether we like it or not. We can only distance ourselves so far from them; and that is psychically very detrimental to us.
Louise Hay, a pioneer of the self help world, strongly believed and taught that there was a connection to disease, and our thoughts about ourselves. She specifically started out her career, helping gay men resolve internalized homophobia, which she believed created a vulnerability to HIV. Perhaps this same kind of self deprecation is the reason for so many other sexually transmitted diseases, and the incredible pain that we associate with them.
More than ever we are a world of strivers. We are rushing around trying to be more and more civilized. We horde and plan and scheme far beyond what nature does. We are insecure because we do not trust that the web of life will support us. We need to come back to our roots, to find solace and nurturing, to find satisfaction and pleasure in what is truly natural for us; and what can be more natural to us than our own body.
Our disconnect from our genitals, is our disconnect from all of life.
With our genitals we can create life. We can create another human being, and we can also, through eros, arousal, tap into our own life force in a very powerful way. Genitals are magical, and nature based spirituality often honours, worships the genitals and generative powers of the human body. What do modern people do when they want to get sexed up? They listen to music and dance, the same thing that humans have been doing for millennia when they wanted to feel that vital force within themselves, that generative, connective energy.
Our genitals can give us tremendous pleasure. Just like spending time in nature, our genitals can help us soften and expand into a much larger sense of self. Our genitals can help us transcend beyond the sense of separate ego identity. How can it be argued that pleasure is guidance towards well-being. Negative examples of pleasure abuse such as things like alcohol, cigarettes and white sugar are the result of a consistent deprivation of natural pleasures such as human love, embodiment, and a connection with nature. Healthy food and a healthy body is infinitely more pleasurable than those substances that humans have invented from a place of disease.
Even the shapes and textures of the genitals, express an exquisite beauty that reflects the divine genius that humans are often out of touch with. The order and intelligence of nature, of our bodies, of our genitals, is far loftier than human technology. The artificial self importance that has been used to justify the wanton degradation of nature, and everything associated with it, is absolute narcissistic foolishness; it is primitive in the worst way.
Returning to an appreciation, a loving relationship with our genitals, will help us return to a loving relationship with all of nature. It will help us to find a satisfaction in simpler things; things that dont require pit mining, killing people for oil, or filling an internal emptiness with walmart garbage, caffeine or television. A connection with this vital force within us, will help us connect to the immense vitality and intelligence of the universe that we are part of. From that place of pleasurable connection, we will be inspired to create technologies that are harmonious with our larger organism, the planet as a whole living system. Just as flowers are the generative organs of plants, perhaps human beings are the genitals of the planet itself, the expression of the love and beauty, and the fruit that contain seeds within. Perhaps if we see ourselves as genitals, than we will remember our true purpose, and allow ourselves to embody the pleasure and joy that I believe is what is truly our nature.
What is a sex wizardry actually? Lets dispel the mystique, because the truth is, anyone can be a sex wizard; that's the whole point of naming it, of putting it on a shirt or a phone case. Shit the world doesn't need more plastic; but it sure does need souls woken to the magic that is accessible to every one of us. Anyone can be a sex wizard if they want to be, but most people aren't.
Instinctively we know we're sitting on something fascinating. We have the craving, the interest, the curiosity. As adolescents we are so very curious about sexuality. Its really damn exciting. However we pick up even earlier in our lives that our genitals are our “privates”, that we shouldn't talk about them or touch them without washing our hands. We should only let select people see them, and they are very much compartmentalized from the rest of us. We must not let them see the light of day.
Sex wizardry is not so different from tantra; its many of the same concepts. However, Tantra is often described in heterocentric, cis gendered terms. Sex wizardry goes far beyond that. Sex wizardry recognizes a vast spectrum of expression. Sex wizardry is about merging that duality within. Sex wizardry is not constrained by a binary, of sex or gender; it's about your own inner alchemy and autoeroticism. Of course you may wish to engage with another person and utilize that wizardry for sexual interaction with another; but the foundation is embodiment, and ones relationship with themselves.
Sex wizardry is free of dogma. There are no wrong ways to do it. Its all about self discovery and inner listening. Its all about seducing and being seduced by your inner being. Its about allowing your inner child to be sexual. As you can imagine, this is the frontier of what the mainstream world can wrap its head around. In a world where gayness is not universally excepted, transgendered people are murdered and naked bodies are censored and criminalized, sex wizardry will not be something that you hear about in most circles. But in truth sex wizardry has been around for as long as sex has; however in that time its evolved a lot, especially recently.
Genitals are the primary magical tools of the sex wizard. The body as a whole in truth is the magical tool; the vessel of the spirit. Sex is the external manifestation, and sexuality the felt sense; the magic is in the reuniting, the healing. The whole body has yin and yang, but its all relative; theres no black or white.
The whole body can feel pleasure, and any point be a point of entry for eros, for sexual liminosity. The genitals are especially powerful tools for this state change, this expansion and plane shifting.
During arousal, the penis becomes a gravitational focal point for consciousness. The vivid powerful sensation that occurs from genital stimulation, focuses the consciousness and energy, just like a laser. Our normally sleepy, diffuse awareness, comes fully into the exquisite present. This builds and is amplified if we are skilled with energy cultivation, and mindful focus of our awareness.
Directing that energy at pornography is wasteful. Directing that energy at another human can feel very good for them, and sometimes they will return it to us, creating a circulation; but we have to be able to tap in and turn on our flow for ourselves first. The energy that we cultivate is what we have to give to everything, our creative projects, our own consciousness, and our own healing. That's why a foundational sex wizard practice is self cultivation; also known as mindful masturbation. Sex wizardry is about self care.
An integral part of sex wizardry is about feeling whole, feeling like we can own our experience of our genitals as part of our being, including the good feelings they give us. Part of the good feelings they give us is an altered state of consciousness. This really is the magic part. Sexual arousal is a vast territory; its a doorway opening inward.
And its not just our genitals that are the sexual part of us. Our body really is so very interconnected, just like all of nature. But there are certain access points for certain stimuli, like a button or switch. There are specialized areas we can stimulate to produce certain effects. This is the method where we take more responsibility for what our body is doing. Instead of a haphazard approach where we dont feel like we have much say in our feeling states, learning about, and engaging more with our own intimate systems, provides a real sense of empowerment, and gratitude for the gift of having a body.
Our genitals are a key that opens a door into an interior world. If we stay detached, robotic, thinking sex is only genital pleasure, then were not venturing very far into that interior landscape. Tuning inward and utilizing conscious control of our bodies, is a kind of inner alchemy.
The cock, dick, penis is a multi function organ. Its a wand, its a magical instrument; celebrated in mystical traditions for millennia. Some people even suggest that the reason our culture is dick phobic is because we have been conditioned away from accessing this key, this power that can free us from enslavement. Its been weaponized against us. When the nature based religions were paved over, so was the healthy expression of masculine sexual energy. Many ancient cultures worshipped phallus's. They saw them as living symbols of divine power.
Sex can be a double edged sword; and currently the primary edge that is functioning is the negative one, the one used to sell you things in a covert way. The edge that drains your life force. The edge that numbs your mind. See magic requires discipline and clear intention. It requires responsible use of the power otherwise it becomes destructive.
And sexuality is what you do with your sexual energy. Sex is a magic spell that can be used to harm or heal. With such tremendous power, I believe that we need to bring this esoteric subject out into the light of day; to collectively shine light onto our genitals and dispel the darkness and shame from them; so that we can use them in the service of love, and harmony.
Elevating our sexuality from a compulsive, unconscious, addictive place, to a mindful, sacred, spiritual place is the realm of sex wizardry, sexual empowerment, sexual enlightenment.
Sex wizardry will probably always be the territory of the edge walkers. Its the natural skill set of the shamans and mystics. However, the muggles (Hairy potter term for “regular” people) can benefit tremendously by learning from these edge walkers, from taking part in their classes, their therapies and their knowledge. Perhaps as the world learns to value differences, and to face their own demons; more recognition and reverence for the sex wizards of the world will allow them to do their work, and facilitate a collective healing for the whole world. Its what were here for.
Consent is an important topic to me. I believe it is the point from which we can resolve many of the problems that our modern society faces, because consent fosters connection; its integral to all relationships, when we feel we are respected and our personal preference valued. However consent can be a difficult thing to navigate at times.
There are many times when the world around us is not exactly suiting what we would prefer; and that will probably always be the case, unless we live inside a little bubble. The more we expand into the world, the more likely we will come across elements that we do not prefer. We wont always be wanting to have a relationship, or engage with everyone, everything in our environment; so we can say no, we should be able to say no. Part of saying no is just avoiding certain things. Out on the street, out in the world we say no by not looking, not going there, not engaging, ignoring. If we insist that everything in our environment conform to our wants, we will be domineering, oppressive and micromanaging. I believe that we should respect others right to be and do them, even if its not what we prefer. We have to decide all of the time, is this important to me? Do I want to engage here? I believe that we should also not jump to conclusions, not be reactive, instead be curious. Curiosity opens up our world. Sometimes we don't know what we prefer and so the contrasting elements can help us to learn and to grow.
As a queer person, a non conforming person, as an artist and free thinker, I have presented elements into peoples environments that they sometimes didn't prefer. I have not asked for their consent to be myself. My preference is that they be curious instead of having an aversion to what I offer. Of course if they do not prefer what I express, then I respect their preference as long as they not demand that I conform. Sometimes there is a conflict, and the relationship breaks down; or never develops in the first place.
In reference to this, I have come across the term eye rape, where someone sees something that they do not prefer. Its used quite casually at times which I think belittles, minimizes actual rape.
This project, DICKS ARE MAGIC is about bringing something controversial, male genitals into the light of day, into the streets and public spaces. Dicks are not allowed in public currently. It is a criminal offence to display actual male genitals. So some people suggest that seeing male genitals when they were not expecting to see them or didnt ask to see them, such as an unsolicited dick pic, deserves the classification of eye rape.
There is no such thing as eye rape. I agree that an unsolicited dick pic is not elevated communication. In most cases it will likely be offensive. Whenever we reach out to communicate something to anyone we should be considerate. We might try and put ourselves in their shoes. We might consider the consequences and how it might affect our relationship with them. It's only if we don't care about a relationship with them, that we would do something where we are not being considerate. But there is always a risk that the person will not take kindly to our communication. Were not mind readers, and its only normal to prioritize our needs over imagined boundaries of another.
There may be times when we see things that we don’t like, people do things that we don't prefer; but that is based on our opinion and perception. We are judging what we are perceiving through a lens. It may feel like the other person is being inconsiderate, but we are choosing conflict instead of curiosity.
Yes if we’re taking a stroll in the park, and a stranger flashes their genitals at us we are probably one surprised, because it’s not something we often see, especially in a public place, and two, we may be concerned with the person's state of mind, and further intentions. They are breaking some societal rule, and so we may perceive that they are inconsiderate. That is valid of course as our own assessment, but we should divorce that personal experience from the fact that neither parties are mind readers, and may not conform to the same value system or beliefs or perceive the experience in a similar way at all.
I anticipate that some might consider my art eye rape.
I want to point out a few things. Would it be a problem if it was an unsolicited picture of a puppy? No. That wouldn’t be a problem. However a penis is considered a threatening and dangerous thing. I believe that the primary reason for that is that we generally don’t see them. They are hidden away. We are told when we are young that we shouldn't touch our genitals, that they are our “privates”. All of our body is our personal possession, in that sense private, and that no one else should have access to it without our consent. And, our genitals are really no different from our nose or mouth; they are no "dirtier". We've just been indoctrinated with a collective shame about them. Genitals have been demonized and out of the private context are considered offensive by some, the status quo.
So showing anyone anything, is really just an attempt at communication, and then its up to us how we interpret that. We can jump to conclusions, get upset; but that says far more about us that what the person intended. We can’t know unless we ask them. They might not even know themselves. How you respond could make a lot of difference to the outcome.
DICKSAREMAGIC is an art project, a social commentary, its an education project, and its an offshoot of my other work as a queer mens embodiment coach.
I see dicks as a symbol of male confidence as well as vulnerability. I believe that men experience a lot of inner turmoil and conflict around expressing their sexuality; being proud of it but within the societal bounds. I believe that the societal bounds are far too restrictive, which leads to disease in our societies. There needs to be room to let off steam, to express ourselves. There need to be nude beaches, brothels, and on line spaces that aren't just about porn, but instead are about holism and sex. I believe that wearing a shirt with dick designs is an anti establishment statement; an artistic middle finger to the corporations, religions, and governments that sanitize, regulate, and criminalize a very normal healthy attribute of human nature; and because they do this, we have aberrant behavior, we have actual rape, we have self harming, addiction and despair. The internalized sexuality shaming has been with us for a very long time. It’s time that we change that. It’s also the way that corporations control us, motivate us to buy things using subliminal sexual messages. If we were sexually liberated, sex would not be a useful method of selling things. We would be far too busy being nude, communing in nature, loving life and each other; to give a shit about shopping for things we dont need.
Please don’t perpetuate stupidity with terms like eye rape. Please don’t shame peoples unique sexual expression. If it’s not for you that's fine, walk away, say no thanks, look elsewhere.
Art is a method for consciousness expansion, and censorship is the opposite.
We live in a world that often tells us that we aren't good enough, that we need to fix ourselves; and that to be happy is going to cost money. Yeah we all want to be happy, and sometimes that means more money so we can purchase goods, and services, that improve our lives; but things have gotten to a point where many people are so discontented from a sense of happiness because they have given all of their power away to giant, corporate, interests. Our sexuality especially, has been hijacked, shamed, hidden, and sold back to us.
This has been brought to our attention by women's advocates, pointing out how women, in contrast to runway models are made to feel fat, when they are perfectly healthy and normal. The effect of the advertising industry, and now social media, means that many people spend more money than they have, trying to make themselves feel good by buying things including cosmetic surgery. Ironically, working harder to make more money, and then spending all of our money on things and procedures (which never will really make us happy), only leads us further into misery. Here's me telling you to shop less, on a retail web site!
I'm not against things, or buying, or money; I love clothes, and art, and fashion and all that! But how conscious are we of our choices. Thankfully there is a push for shoppers and manufacturers to become more ethical in their choices. We vote with our dollars. Are we buying into corporate propaganda, or are we making a statement? What statement are we making with our choices?
This project is not about getting rich; it's about making a controversial, progressive, statement: DICKS ARE MAGIC! I believe that art is more powerful than politics. My ultimate goal is to teach men to love themselves. The point I'm trying to get to here is PLEASE, DON'T GET COSMETIC SURGERY FOR YOUR DICK! Unless there's something seriously wrong with your penis, even if its a micro penis, please, just learn to love it! I promise you, it is totally adequate in giving you tremendous pleasure IF YOU LEARN HOW TO USE IT! Part of that, a big part of that is loving it as it is! Even if you're fem, love your penis!
A guy's dick is so connected with his sense of self confidence. Why that is I will not get into here, but it's what many guys will clearly say. The majority of women will say that a big penis is not important to them. If a guy is attentive and caring and communicative he could probably have a nub and most women will be content. Because for most women it's not all about the dick. When it comes to gay relationships that may be different, but there we are dealing with something deeper and more self reflective.
I believe that if we're looking for a loving relationship, dick size will not be an issue. If a person can't love you because of the size of your penis, then you'd do better to look elsewhere; this is not someone who will make for a happy relationship. I believe that the fetishization of big dicks in the gay community is because of a desire for confidence where it is lacking. Low self esteem is endemic in the gay community, and it's not because of small penises; it's because of internalized homophobia.
Let me say this. I admire big dicks as fascinating varieties of nature. There is something compelling about them for sure. But porn has given us an unhealthy perception of what is realistic; not so different from what fashion magazines have done to women.
The absolute truth is, that if you love your dick, and learn its magic through reverence, through mindful masturbation and lovemaking, you will realize that size does not matter. It has the same number of nerve endings as a big dick. It's completely beautiful as it is; and if it doesn't look beautiful to you, it may not be about the size, but about the health of it. It is a reflection of your overall well being. You might be surprised by how it changes when you change your overall health, and attitude. Please watch this short documentary and witness the sad state of affairs where guys pay $20,000 to get an inch more, to improve their self esteem. But does it? Now they have a weird, fatty, scarred dick. That is not pretty in my mind; to me that's very ugly. What is beautiful is unconditional positive regard for ones body as it is. If we start from a place of self love, we will be guided to make choices that are in line with natural well being; and guess what, it doesn't cost a thing.
It may seem crass to some, or rude or indecent; but we believe that people should be talking about dicks, thinking about dicks, looking at dicks, and wearing dicks.
Why? because they're cool, they're magical, and they're fun! And the fact is that they are the subject of great interest and fascination! However our society also denies our fascination with them, hides them and shames them.
We wanted to find a creative way of encouraging sex positivity, and male sexual health. Poof! Dicks Are Magic was born.
A dick is a microcosm of a man; a self-similar fractal. A guys dick reflects his health, his confidence, and his self esteem; essentially how much he loves himself. I know this is a bold statement, but hear us out. Irregardless of the size and shape, its how he embodies it! The thing is, that a loved penis will love you back. A happy healthy man will have a happy healthy dick. There are good dick days and bad dick days; ask any guy, (that's at ease talking about his penis) it's a sort of barometer of his state of being.
"There is a magical path that some call sex wizardry.
It's not one for the weekend weiner warrior.
Only the disciplined dick, may become the glorious bearer of the Wand of Light!
This is the practice of Mindful Masturbation; an Embodiment Meditation."
Who taught you about your dick?
The inhibition that we have as society about male genitalia, also reflects our inhibitions about male emotion, desire, and vulnerability. Why do we have men non consensually exposing themselves in public? Because men want to expose themselves (not just their cocks), and there's currently not many acceptable ways to do that.
This project is hopefully also a light hearted way of talking about various elements of male sexuality. And it can be an expression to describe consensual, and healthy ways for men to express their vitality, passion, lust, fear, shame, modesty, humor and of course love.
We also want to bring to awareness through these products, the horrific practice of unnecessary male infant circumcision. We intend to create a line of products featuring uncircumcised penises, and devote a portion of the proceeds to organizations promoting intact genitals, and the rights of children, in freedom from non consensual genital mutilation.
As well, we are promoting sex worker rights, and decriminalization, through this project. We're not sure exactly how yet, but we're working on it. Your purchase of these products will help us devote time and effort to those ends.
Thanks for your support! <3